like this articles so much. share with you all.
當你需要時，是否有人蹲下來陪你做一隻蘑菇
有一個精神病人，以為自己是一隻蘑菇，於是他每天都撐著一把傘蹲在房間的牆角裡，不吃也不喝，像一隻真正的蘑菇一樣。
心理醫生想了一個辦法。有一天，心理醫生也撐了一把傘，蹲坐在了病人的旁邊。病人很奇怪地問：你是誰呀？醫生回答：我也是一隻蘑菇呀。病人點點頭，繼續做他的蘑菇。
過了一會兒，醫生站了起來，在房間裡走來走去，病人就問他：你不是蘑菇麼，怎麼可以走來走去？
……
醫生回答說：蘑菇當然也可以走來走去啦！病人覺得有道理，就也站起來走走。
又過了一會兒，醫生拿出一個漢堡包開始吃，病人又問：咦，你不是蘑菇麼，怎麼可以吃東西？醫生理直氣壯地回答：蘑菇當然也可以吃東西呀！病人覺得很對，於是也開始吃東西。
幾個星期以後，這個精神病人就能像正常人一樣生活了，雖然，他還覺得自己是一隻蘑菇。
其實……
一個人可以帶著過去的創傷繼續，只要他把悲傷放在心裡的一個圈圈裡，不要讓苦痛浸染了他的整個生命，他就可以像正常人一樣快樂地生活。
當一個人悲傷得難以自持的時候，也許，他不需要太多的勸解和安慰，訓誡和指明，他需要的，只是能有一個人在他身邊蹲下來，陪他做一隻蘑菇。
Friday, October 29, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Guilty
I know I shouldn't went back home earlier. I know I should have stay and make up my promise.
I know that was irresponsible and somethings gonna change.
But ....I don't know, I just simply have no mood.
Duhh....I know emotion cannot get between Lord and me. But....duhh...
Maybe the temptation is way too stronger than I thought.
Heavenly Father please forgive me for not attending the practice.
and for not reading your word everyday as I should have. and for not whispering to you for so long.
and for ignoring what You said to me. and for being such a lazy bug. and for being a coward. and for being not attentive. for not being hardworking. for not managing my time and money well. for being rude. for being not initiative. for the wrong things i may have said. and everything that hated by You. Im sorry Lord. Forgive me.and draw me out of temptation....
Goodnight...or Goodmorning....
I know that was irresponsible and somethings gonna change.
But ....I don't know, I just simply have no mood.
Duhh....I know emotion cannot get between Lord and me. But....duhh...
Maybe the temptation is way too stronger than I thought.
Heavenly Father please forgive me for not attending the practice.
and for not reading your word everyday as I should have. and for not whispering to you for so long.
and for ignoring what You said to me. and for being such a lazy bug. and for being a coward. and for being not attentive. for not being hardworking. for not managing my time and money well. for being rude. for being not initiative. for the wrong things i may have said. and everything that hated by You. Im sorry Lord. Forgive me.and draw me out of temptation....
Goodnight...or Goodmorning....
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Silence.
Now I doubt. Is this what I really want? Is this what I really admired and wanted to be?
I cant imagine myself walking around in there. SERIOUSLY.
and now i can do nothing. So just follow His path.
I cant imagine myself walking around in there. SERIOUSLY.
and now i can do nothing. So just follow His path.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
发现
我 错过了好多。真的好多。而且是我自己放的手。
所以，后悔 也没用。但是 还是要感恩。我决定 不要再错过了。
>< hmm share a song with you all.
If you wanna change the world. You need to start from yourself.
YES!! So im gonaa start changing myself FIRST!!! starting with the man in the mirror!! ME.
Micheal Jackson--Man in the Mirror. *but this is James Morrison version. like this soft version more. ^^
hehe and my lee hom de version.. ><
所以，后悔 也没用。但是 还是要感恩。我决定 不要再错过了。
>< hmm share a song with you all.
If you wanna change the world. You need to start from yourself.
YES!! So im gonaa start changing myself FIRST!!! starting with the man in the mirror!! ME.
Micheal Jackson--Man in the Mirror. *but this is James Morrison version. like this soft version more. ^^
hehe and my lee hom de version.. ><
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Life
is short. and unpredictable.
just a few hours before, while i was getting ready to my youth, i received a shocking news.
A girl died. I know there are thousand of ppl died today. But this girl is special.
We used to have our English tuition together. She is really a nice sister.
She sang really WELL. angelic voice. and she is tender yet active and out-going.
I just couldn't imagine her gone. She went away because of asthma, alone in her hostel.
Its really sad. I think her parents were sadder.
And its kinda dilemma for me coz in this very night, one of my frens and the fellowship is celebrating their birthday.
I cant' show my sad face to them. It will spoiled their mood. but i was really out of my mind.
I laughed crazily tonight. =) while others thought I was happy I was actually blurred.
Life is short. You never know when, how and who will go.
Cherish your life and the time we had to save more soul.
Luckily Rebekah believes Jesus and I am pretty sure they are having their reunion now in heaven.
R.I.P.
just a few hours before, while i was getting ready to my youth, i received a shocking news.
A girl died. I know there are thousand of ppl died today. But this girl is special.
We used to have our English tuition together. She is really a nice sister.
She sang really WELL. angelic voice. and she is tender yet active and out-going.
I just couldn't imagine her gone. She went away because of asthma, alone in her hostel.
Its really sad. I think her parents were sadder.
And its kinda dilemma for me coz in this very night, one of my frens and the fellowship is celebrating their birthday.
I cant' show my sad face to them. It will spoiled their mood. but i was really out of my mind.
I laughed crazily tonight. =) while others thought I was happy I was actually blurred.
Life is short. You never know when, how and who will go.
Cherish your life and the time we had to save more soul.
Luckily Rebekah believes Jesus and I am pretty sure they are having their reunion now in heaven.
R.I.P.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Good Story.
A Good one. Don't agree about the" have sex before marriage" tough.
傍晚,餘輝如金，把天空鍍成織錦一般，臨海的一家肯德雞店裡，我倚著椅背，欣賞著落地窗外的風景。突然，耳邊傳來一個男人的溫和的聲音：“小姐，我們可以 聊聊天嗎？”我下了一跳，有點惱的望過去，卻觸到一對清澈含笑的眼睛。 我打量他，高大的身材配一張耐看的臉，穿著一身質地良好的休閒杉和長褲，給人的感覺熨帖而清爽，我唇角一彎，邪笑：“我的男朋友馬上就來了，你還和我聊 嗎？”“當然和你聊了，因為你根本就沒有男朋友？”他大方的坐在我的面前。肆無忌憚地盯著我說：“我已經注意你很久了，沒有女孩在等男朋友的心情會這麼懶 散。”我露出貝齒，甜甜地笑了。這個男孩的精明讓我感到陡生，我愉快的和他聊了起來。 就這樣，我認識了安傑，一家電腦公司的工程師。我們第二次見面，他的手上捧著一束馬蹄蓮，用綠色的素紙包著，映著他深情如酒的微笑。
第三次在月亮升起時，他約我去海邊散步。海風漸涼，他用他的寬大的懷抱溫暖我。第四次我們在說笑間，突然，他俯下身，為我細心地系好散開的鞋帶。那一刻，我感動的對自己說：我一定要和他戀愛。
與安傑戀愛一月後，我伏在安傑的胸膛，問他：“安傑，我不是處女，你會愛我嗎？”他撫著我淩亂的頭髮，就像在撫摸一隻可愛的小狗：“傻瓜，都什麼年代了，還問這麼老土的問題，我在乎的是兩個人是否相愛。”
我快樂的從床上蹦起來，又撲了上去：“安傑，我真是太、太愛你了。”
第二天，我提著自己的行李，搬進了安傑的房子。我們開始了同居。
同居的日子如飽含雨露的鮮花，美麗動人。每天清晨，當陽光濾過白色的窗幔，我穿著居家服，穿著拖鞋，去廚房為安傑準備早餐、煎蛋、烤麵包、沖牛奶，然後安傑起床。這個時候，安傑總會用用他沒刷牙的嘴亂嚷：“老婆，你真是這世界上最美麗最勤勞的女人了。”
幸福的就像空氣中彌漫的雞蛋牛奶味，香香的，甜甜的。
一天傑路過一家時尚小屋，小屋的門前掛著一個小小的粉紅色的牌子：還你處身，只要80元。我嘻嘻笑著說：“聽說男人都有處女情結，彌補一下你的遺憾。聽說這東西，會落紅，跟真的一樣。”
安傑認真的看著:我小如：“我沒有處女情結，你不用補償。再說，不是處女沒什麼可恥，拿那假的東西騙人才可恨。”
我又一次感動的像小狗一樣，把腦袋使勁往安傑懷裡鑽：“安傑，你真是世界上最偉大的男人，我一定會好好愛你一輩子。
”
與安傑同居的第60天，他帶我去南昌老家拜見了他的父母。在他的父母面前，安傑毫不掩飾與我的親昵，攬腰、摟肩，使明眼的父母一眼看穿了我們的關係。臨走 時，安傑母親塞給我一個小錦盒，打開看，是一枚色澤久遠的祖母綠的戒指，不知所措間，安傑的母親和藹的安撫我：“這是我們家的傳家寶，是傳給兒媳婦的。” 安傑立在一邊，笑眯眯地望著。 戴上安傑家的的傳家戒指，我開始憧憬與安傑的婚禮。西式的教堂，簇眼的鮮花，及一對身穿著婚紗禮服的壁人，踩著音樂，在神父和祝福的親朋面前莊嚴起誓：無 論貧窮富有，健康疾病，我們不離不棄。安傑則嚮往去海底舉行婚禮，身著潛水服，在海洋裡與無數奇奇怪怪的魚共舞。那種感覺，多妙 ！
9月，安傑被公司派往武漢工作二個月。我為他收拾行李，我邊往他的行李箱裡裝剃鬚刀、男士面霜，一邊說：“安傑，我不在你身邊，你可要好好把握自己，別讓妖精勾去了。”安傑摟著我：“寶貝，你是我父母欽點的兒媳，有妖精我也不敢去惹呀。”
安傑走了，偌大的房子就只剩下寂寞的我。生活猶如被抽走了陽光和空氣，沉悶至極。早晨醒來，身邊空蕩蕩的，便無一點做早餐的興致。晚上，不敢看那些恐怖的 鬼片，因為沒有安傑寬厚安全的懷可鑽。安傑的電話總會在深夜十點準時響起，親昵的稀釋著我寂寞的心。但思念如野草般瘋長，安傑離開我一個月後，我期期艾艾 的說：“安傑，離開我了我才知道你對我有多重要。等你回家了，我們結婚好不好，我總有一種擔心，擔心時間會離間我們。”安傑心疼的說：“好，等我一回家， 我們就結婚。”
我每天反反復複的數著安傑的歸期。下班時路過影樓，望著一幅幅照片裡的美眷，嘴角總會漾起傻傻的笑，過不了多久，我和安傑也會成為一對畫中壁人。
安傑工作期前半個月，每天例行的電話時常會中斷。問他原因，他說工作即將收尾，要做的事情很多。我信了，囑咐的他多休息。臨了，撒嬌的說：“安傑，我已經 看好一套水晶之戀婚紗照，很不錯，還有很多優惠服務呢。”安傑淡淡“哦”了一聲。安傑的淡然讓我閃出一絲不安。但很快的我又笑自己神經質。撫著安傑家的祖 傳戒指，我幸福的對自己說：小如，你快要做美麗新娘了。
安傑回來的時候情緒閃爍不定，尤其不敢直視我的眼睛。直覺告訴我，安傑有事瞞著我。我咬著唇，克制自己不去揭安傑的心事。只要能和安傑結婚，他的豔遇，我可以隱忍。
我帶著安傑來到影樓。從試衣間出來，一身白紗的我猶如仙子，安傑看的呆愕了。我笑著挽起他的手臂，我與安傑終於定格成為美麗無雙的眷侶。
我松了口氣。安傑繼續每天呆在電腦上工作，偶爾會有一些令他神色不自然的電話打來。我視若無睹，繼續籌備著我們婚禮用品。
安傑回家的第十天，家裡來了一為不速之客。安傑見了她，臉色刷地白了。我冷冷地望著他們，說：“你們談吧，我出去一下。”下樓時候，我已經虛脫的無法自製了。
我坐在社區的花園裡，亂亂的回憶那個女孩。細細柔柔，小巧如玉的臉上梨花帶雨，是那麼的淒怨無助，我的心口奔湧著巨大的痛，只怕，安傑的這次不是豔遇那麼簡單。
一個小時後，安傑發瘋般抱著她沖出來。近了，我看清楚了那個女孩，手腕上竟有大片的血。天，她居然割腕自殺！我驚訝地捂上自己的嘴。安傑沖上馬路，攔了一輛車。
女孩被搶救了過來，蒼白的臉，靜靜地打著點滴。她的手緊緊的握著安傑的手，弱弱的哀求：“安傑，你怎麼可以這樣對我不負責任？我求你了，不要拋棄我。” 安傑吻著他無骨般的小手，眼睛裡盛滿了愛憐：“好，我不會離開你了。”我退了出去，那一幕，如刀般插在我的心間。
安傑從裡面走了出來，說：“她睡著了。”我再也無法平靜，眼睛噴了火，逼視著他。安傑垂下頭，說了他們的故事。那個女孩叫紫竹，在武漢，他們在同一所大廈 上班。電梯裡相遇多了，就成了一起喝茶聊天的朋友。他們認識的一個月後，有一個晚上，兩人在一起喝了很多的酒，就發生了不該發生的故事。
我流著淚，幾乎是吼著問他：“那你現在準備怎麼辦？要他，還是要我~~~~~”
安傑望著別處，說：“我也不知道，我也不知道~~~~~”
安傑最終決定與紫竹結婚，多日的相愛一朝化水，我失控般的揪著安傑的衣領：“為什麼不要我，要他？”
“小如，你比她堅強，沒有我，你還可以活下去，可她不行，她太柔弱了。我放棄她的話，她就會變成一具死屍。”
“你是說她可以為你去死嗎？我告訴你，我也可以。”我迅速的拉開皮包，從裡面掏出一把鋒利的小刀，飛快的向手腕劃去。
拿刀的手被安傑及時捏住了。安傑紅著眼睛，痛苦的說：“小如，你何必如此呢？她和你不一樣的，她跟我的時候是個處女。我一個大男人，總不能如此辜負一個清清白白的女孩。”
我“轟”地一下震住了，小刀叮咚掉到地上，回過神來，我狠狠地扇了他一個耳光：“你不是說你沒有處女情結嗎？其實在你的心裡，處女還是高貴的更需要憐惜的，而我就活該遭你的拋棄的對不對？”
我收起了眼淚，義無反顧沖了出去。為這樣的男人自殺，不值得。
安傑的婚禮在一個月後舉行的。那天，我跑到酒吧，買醉。往事種種已成過眼雲煙，，婚紗照自然沒有去取，祖傳戒指我也還給了他，婚照、祖傳戒指都套不住愛 情。套住安傑的最終還是紫竹的貞操。喝到醉眼惺忪時，我在酒吧破口大駡，罵男人混蛋、偽君子、騙子。所有的男人都望著我，驚奇的，戲謔的，曖昧的，什麼眼 神都有。那一刻，我覺得自己極像個殘花敗柳。
幾個月後，我去超市採購食物。轉了幾圈，竟遇上安傑和他的妻子——紫竹，他們在選購嬰婦用品。見了我，安傑臉色訕訕的，畢竟他對我還是有一絲愧疚的。略有 發胖的紫竹偎著安傑，一臉幸福的笑：“我懷孕了，寶寶快三個月了。”“哦，祝福你們”雖然恨著，但我還是對他們擠出了一朵微笑。
趁安傑去收銀台的時候，紫竹告訴我：“安傑是個好丈夫，我懷孕以後，他不許我做一點家務。每天早晨，我都要為我做早餐，還說要保證母嬰營養~~~”一陣痛漫了過來，安傑為了她，重複我以前為他做的事。
與他們分別後，鬱悶無處發洩，便狠狠朝前飛了一腳。沒想到正踢中一部小車的尾部，報警器發瘋般的叫，嚇的我是落荒而逃。
幾天後的深夜，電話鈴尖銳的響。我抓過來，聽見了安傑慌忙的聲音：“小如，快過來啊，紫竹流紅了，怕是要流產。”我一驚，穿起衣服沖到樓下打車。在路上，我煩亂的想，你不是恨他們嗎？為什麼聽說他們有事，竟也緊張起來了？
紫竹被我們送到了醫院，病房外，安傑煩躁的抽著煙。來來回回的走著怨著：“都怪我，不該讓她為我沖咖啡。她懷孕了，怎麼能去沖咖啡呢？”看著他對紫竹的心 疼，我狠不得沖上去喊：只不過是懷孕而已，連沖個咖啡都不可以嗎？但嘴上卻安慰他說：“放心吧，有那麼好的醫生，紫竹不會有事的。”醫生出來了，說胎兒保 住了。安傑長長的松了口氣。突然，醫生皺著眉說：“你們男人總是不懂憐惜妻子，她到底做了多少次人流啊，子宮薄得幾乎沒有能力保護胎兒。”
我們同時呆住了。尤其是安傑，眼神空洞的望著醫生，一句話都說不出來。
我走出了醫院。濃濃的夜色，我真想放聲大笑，那個紫竹可是第一次為安傑懷孕啊。但心頭暗湧，更是晦晦的酸澀。我想起當初與安傑走過的那個時尚小屋，“還你處女身，只要80元。”那個紫竹，精明的只用80元，就毀了我與安傑的過去和未來。原來愛情，有時脆弱的只值80元。
其實大多數時候男生和女生只會傷害真正愛自己的人！！！祝所有人都珍惜深愛自己的人！！！
傍晚,餘輝如金，把天空鍍成織錦一般，臨海的一家肯德雞店裡，我倚著椅背，欣賞著落地窗外的風景。突然，耳邊傳來一個男人的溫和的聲音：“小姐，我們可以 聊聊天嗎？”我下了一跳，有點惱的望過去，卻觸到一對清澈含笑的眼睛。 我打量他，高大的身材配一張耐看的臉，穿著一身質地良好的休閒杉和長褲，給人的感覺熨帖而清爽，我唇角一彎，邪笑：“我的男朋友馬上就來了，你還和我聊 嗎？”“當然和你聊了，因為你根本就沒有男朋友？”他大方的坐在我的面前。肆無忌憚地盯著我說：“我已經注意你很久了，沒有女孩在等男朋友的心情會這麼懶 散。”我露出貝齒，甜甜地笑了。這個男孩的精明讓我感到陡生，我愉快的和他聊了起來。 就這樣，我認識了安傑，一家電腦公司的工程師。我們第二次見面，他的手上捧著一束馬蹄蓮，用綠色的素紙包著，映著他深情如酒的微笑。
第三次在月亮升起時，他約我去海邊散步。海風漸涼，他用他的寬大的懷抱溫暖我。第四次我們在說笑間，突然，他俯下身，為我細心地系好散開的鞋帶。那一刻，我感動的對自己說：我一定要和他戀愛。
與安傑戀愛一月後，我伏在安傑的胸膛，問他：“安傑，我不是處女，你會愛我嗎？”他撫著我淩亂的頭髮，就像在撫摸一隻可愛的小狗：“傻瓜，都什麼年代了，還問這麼老土的問題，我在乎的是兩個人是否相愛。”
我快樂的從床上蹦起來，又撲了上去：“安傑，我真是太、太愛你了。”
第二天，我提著自己的行李，搬進了安傑的房子。我們開始了同居。
同居的日子如飽含雨露的鮮花，美麗動人。每天清晨，當陽光濾過白色的窗幔，我穿著居家服，穿著拖鞋，去廚房為安傑準備早餐、煎蛋、烤麵包、沖牛奶，然後安傑起床。這個時候，安傑總會用用他沒刷牙的嘴亂嚷：“老婆，你真是這世界上最美麗最勤勞的女人了。”
幸福的就像空氣中彌漫的雞蛋牛奶味，香香的，甜甜的。
一天傑路過一家時尚小屋，小屋的門前掛著一個小小的粉紅色的牌子：還你處身，只要80元。我嘻嘻笑著說：“聽說男人都有處女情結，彌補一下你的遺憾。聽說這東西，會落紅，跟真的一樣。”
安傑認真的看著:我小如：“我沒有處女情結，你不用補償。再說，不是處女沒什麼可恥，拿那假的東西騙人才可恨。”
我又一次感動的像小狗一樣，把腦袋使勁往安傑懷裡鑽：“安傑，你真是世界上最偉大的男人，我一定會好好愛你一輩子。
”
與安傑同居的第60天，他帶我去南昌老家拜見了他的父母。在他的父母面前，安傑毫不掩飾與我的親昵，攬腰、摟肩，使明眼的父母一眼看穿了我們的關係。臨走 時，安傑母親塞給我一個小錦盒，打開看，是一枚色澤久遠的祖母綠的戒指，不知所措間，安傑的母親和藹的安撫我：“這是我們家的傳家寶，是傳給兒媳婦的。” 安傑立在一邊，笑眯眯地望著。 戴上安傑家的的傳家戒指，我開始憧憬與安傑的婚禮。西式的教堂，簇眼的鮮花，及一對身穿著婚紗禮服的壁人，踩著音樂，在神父和祝福的親朋面前莊嚴起誓：無 論貧窮富有，健康疾病，我們不離不棄。安傑則嚮往去海底舉行婚禮，身著潛水服，在海洋裡與無數奇奇怪怪的魚共舞。那種感覺，多妙 ！
9月，安傑被公司派往武漢工作二個月。我為他收拾行李，我邊往他的行李箱裡裝剃鬚刀、男士面霜，一邊說：“安傑，我不在你身邊，你可要好好把握自己，別讓妖精勾去了。”安傑摟著我：“寶貝，你是我父母欽點的兒媳，有妖精我也不敢去惹呀。”
安傑走了，偌大的房子就只剩下寂寞的我。生活猶如被抽走了陽光和空氣，沉悶至極。早晨醒來，身邊空蕩蕩的，便無一點做早餐的興致。晚上，不敢看那些恐怖的 鬼片，因為沒有安傑寬厚安全的懷可鑽。安傑的電話總會在深夜十點準時響起，親昵的稀釋著我寂寞的心。但思念如野草般瘋長，安傑離開我一個月後，我期期艾艾 的說：“安傑，離開我了我才知道你對我有多重要。等你回家了，我們結婚好不好，我總有一種擔心，擔心時間會離間我們。”安傑心疼的說：“好，等我一回家， 我們就結婚。”
我每天反反復複的數著安傑的歸期。下班時路過影樓，望著一幅幅照片裡的美眷，嘴角總會漾起傻傻的笑，過不了多久，我和安傑也會成為一對畫中壁人。
安傑工作期前半個月，每天例行的電話時常會中斷。問他原因，他說工作即將收尾，要做的事情很多。我信了，囑咐的他多休息。臨了，撒嬌的說：“安傑，我已經 看好一套水晶之戀婚紗照，很不錯，還有很多優惠服務呢。”安傑淡淡“哦”了一聲。安傑的淡然讓我閃出一絲不安。但很快的我又笑自己神經質。撫著安傑家的祖 傳戒指，我幸福的對自己說：小如，你快要做美麗新娘了。
安傑回來的時候情緒閃爍不定，尤其不敢直視我的眼睛。直覺告訴我，安傑有事瞞著我。我咬著唇，克制自己不去揭安傑的心事。只要能和安傑結婚，他的豔遇，我可以隱忍。
我帶著安傑來到影樓。從試衣間出來，一身白紗的我猶如仙子，安傑看的呆愕了。我笑著挽起他的手臂，我與安傑終於定格成為美麗無雙的眷侶。
我松了口氣。安傑繼續每天呆在電腦上工作，偶爾會有一些令他神色不自然的電話打來。我視若無睹，繼續籌備著我們婚禮用品。
安傑回家的第十天，家裡來了一為不速之客。安傑見了她，臉色刷地白了。我冷冷地望著他們，說：“你們談吧，我出去一下。”下樓時候，我已經虛脫的無法自製了。
我坐在社區的花園裡，亂亂的回憶那個女孩。細細柔柔，小巧如玉的臉上梨花帶雨，是那麼的淒怨無助，我的心口奔湧著巨大的痛，只怕，安傑的這次不是豔遇那麼簡單。
一個小時後，安傑發瘋般抱著她沖出來。近了，我看清楚了那個女孩，手腕上竟有大片的血。天，她居然割腕自殺！我驚訝地捂上自己的嘴。安傑沖上馬路，攔了一輛車。
女孩被搶救了過來，蒼白的臉，靜靜地打著點滴。她的手緊緊的握著安傑的手，弱弱的哀求：“安傑，你怎麼可以這樣對我不負責任？我求你了，不要拋棄我。” 安傑吻著他無骨般的小手，眼睛裡盛滿了愛憐：“好，我不會離開你了。”我退了出去，那一幕，如刀般插在我的心間。
安傑從裡面走了出來，說：“她睡著了。”我再也無法平靜，眼睛噴了火，逼視著他。安傑垂下頭，說了他們的故事。那個女孩叫紫竹，在武漢，他們在同一所大廈 上班。電梯裡相遇多了，就成了一起喝茶聊天的朋友。他們認識的一個月後，有一個晚上，兩人在一起喝了很多的酒，就發生了不該發生的故事。
我流著淚，幾乎是吼著問他：“那你現在準備怎麼辦？要他，還是要我~~~~~”
安傑望著別處，說：“我也不知道，我也不知道~~~~~”
安傑最終決定與紫竹結婚，多日的相愛一朝化水，我失控般的揪著安傑的衣領：“為什麼不要我，要他？”
“小如，你比她堅強，沒有我，你還可以活下去，可她不行，她太柔弱了。我放棄她的話，她就會變成一具死屍。”
“你是說她可以為你去死嗎？我告訴你，我也可以。”我迅速的拉開皮包，從裡面掏出一把鋒利的小刀，飛快的向手腕劃去。
拿刀的手被安傑及時捏住了。安傑紅著眼睛，痛苦的說：“小如，你何必如此呢？她和你不一樣的，她跟我的時候是個處女。我一個大男人，總不能如此辜負一個清清白白的女孩。”
我“轟”地一下震住了，小刀叮咚掉到地上，回過神來，我狠狠地扇了他一個耳光：“你不是說你沒有處女情結嗎？其實在你的心裡，處女還是高貴的更需要憐惜的，而我就活該遭你的拋棄的對不對？”
我收起了眼淚，義無反顧沖了出去。為這樣的男人自殺，不值得。
安傑的婚禮在一個月後舉行的。那天，我跑到酒吧，買醉。往事種種已成過眼雲煙，，婚紗照自然沒有去取，祖傳戒指我也還給了他，婚照、祖傳戒指都套不住愛 情。套住安傑的最終還是紫竹的貞操。喝到醉眼惺忪時，我在酒吧破口大駡，罵男人混蛋、偽君子、騙子。所有的男人都望著我，驚奇的，戲謔的，曖昧的，什麼眼 神都有。那一刻，我覺得自己極像個殘花敗柳。
幾個月後，我去超市採購食物。轉了幾圈，竟遇上安傑和他的妻子——紫竹，他們在選購嬰婦用品。見了我，安傑臉色訕訕的，畢竟他對我還是有一絲愧疚的。略有 發胖的紫竹偎著安傑，一臉幸福的笑：“我懷孕了，寶寶快三個月了。”“哦，祝福你們”雖然恨著，但我還是對他們擠出了一朵微笑。
趁安傑去收銀台的時候，紫竹告訴我：“安傑是個好丈夫，我懷孕以後，他不許我做一點家務。每天早晨，我都要為我做早餐，還說要保證母嬰營養~~~”一陣痛漫了過來，安傑為了她，重複我以前為他做的事。
與他們分別後，鬱悶無處發洩，便狠狠朝前飛了一腳。沒想到正踢中一部小車的尾部，報警器發瘋般的叫，嚇的我是落荒而逃。
幾天後的深夜，電話鈴尖銳的響。我抓過來，聽見了安傑慌忙的聲音：“小如，快過來啊，紫竹流紅了，怕是要流產。”我一驚，穿起衣服沖到樓下打車。在路上，我煩亂的想，你不是恨他們嗎？為什麼聽說他們有事，竟也緊張起來了？
紫竹被我們送到了醫院，病房外，安傑煩躁的抽著煙。來來回回的走著怨著：“都怪我，不該讓她為我沖咖啡。她懷孕了，怎麼能去沖咖啡呢？”看著他對紫竹的心 疼，我狠不得沖上去喊：只不過是懷孕而已，連沖個咖啡都不可以嗎？但嘴上卻安慰他說：“放心吧，有那麼好的醫生，紫竹不會有事的。”醫生出來了，說胎兒保 住了。安傑長長的松了口氣。突然，醫生皺著眉說：“你們男人總是不懂憐惜妻子，她到底做了多少次人流啊，子宮薄得幾乎沒有能力保護胎兒。”
我們同時呆住了。尤其是安傑，眼神空洞的望著醫生，一句話都說不出來。
我走出了醫院。濃濃的夜色，我真想放聲大笑，那個紫竹可是第一次為安傑懷孕啊。但心頭暗湧，更是晦晦的酸澀。我想起當初與安傑走過的那個時尚小屋，“還你處女身，只要80元。”那個紫竹，精明的只用80元，就毀了我與安傑的過去和未來。原來愛情，有時脆弱的只值80元。
其實大多數時候男生和女生只會傷害真正愛自己的人！！！祝所有人都珍惜深愛自己的人！！！
Thursday, October 14, 2010
O.o
There's number of frens in FB are "in a relationship with...." recently.
I was wondering If. I mean IF, you guys are just playing around. No offense.
I know there are real relationship among those number. Ok just exclude them then.
Im saying those KID's minded. OMGosh. I was shocked by a girl. Really.
How on earth could you??!! You are changing your mates over and over again just to get advantages.
Or just want to have new mate after broking with your ex.
You are not kids or young anymore. Couldn't you be more mature while dealing with it?
Im not saying like im matured enough. But i knw that True Love Waits.
and hurting someone who used to be intimated with you is NOT GOOD AT ALL!
You are just digging your own grave if you continue what you are doing now.
Wake up please.
I was wondering If. I mean IF, you guys are just playing around. No offense.
I know there are real relationship among those number. Ok just exclude them then.
Im saying those KID's minded. OMGosh. I was shocked by a girl. Really.
How on earth could you??!! You are changing your mates over and over again just to get advantages.
Or just want to have new mate after broking with your ex.
You are not kids or young anymore. Couldn't you be more mature while dealing with it?
Im not saying like im matured enough. But i knw that True Love Waits.
and hurting someone who used to be intimated with you is NOT GOOD AT ALL!
You are just digging your own grave if you continue what you are doing now.
Wake up please.
???
I just don't know.
I just can't talk in front bunch of people Im not familiar with.
Sometimes i think my mind just blank off and nothing came up. but after those nervous section and i sat down. I have thousand of words and thoughts. sigh..
guess im really weird.
I just can't talk in front bunch of people Im not familiar with.
Sometimes i think my mind just blank off and nothing came up. but after those nervous section and i sat down. I have thousand of words and thoughts. sigh..
guess im really weird.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
.....
The only thing i did was Nothing.
after reading wat you wrote, I was stoned.
Seriously. Never felt that way before. like a part of me was tearing off.
but...i was thinking maybe its our destiny. maybe it is meant to be like tat.
Cheers to everyone. Be Happy.
after reading wat you wrote, I was stoned.
Seriously. Never felt that way before. like a part of me was tearing off.
but...i was thinking maybe its our destiny. maybe it is meant to be like tat.
Cheers to everyone. Be Happy.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Stop Smoking
saw this meaningful video accidentally on FB.
had posted about this smoking stuff before but no matter how many times, i will still urge for that as long as somebody can see this and..i don't know... maybe be a courage for them.
Don't smoke people. Don't hurt your beloved one.
And for those who were addicted, please do try hard to quit it.
There are only pros and no con for quitting it.
had posted about this smoking stuff before but no matter how many times, i will still urge for that as long as somebody can see this and..i don't know... maybe be a courage for them.
Don't smoke people. Don't hurt your beloved one.
And for those who were addicted, please do try hard to quit it.
There are only pros and no con for quitting it.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
T.T
1st-ly I was spending like hell today...T.T my bank is hungry after so many storage been swiped off....needs money...
hmm but still thanks God. for so much mercy.
2nd-ly. I AM SURE that You are not trust-able. You cheated me so many times.
Although it never really hurt me. i mean physically. but it shows that you are not honest.
hmm but still thanks God. for so much mercy.
2nd-ly. I AM SURE that You are not trust-able. You cheated me so many times.
Although it never really hurt me. i mean physically. but it shows that you are not honest.
Funny.
Some people like to live in their own built world. or suppose to say fairy tale world??
Why don't just face the real world ?? Its not as scary as you think. There's something nice too.
Why don't just face the real world ?? Its not as scary as you think. There's something nice too.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
My dad is CUTE
haha just finished skype-ing with daddy and mummy.
ma parents are just so cute.
mum says that RM1 for an apple is cheap but RM1 for a kiwi is expensive. hmm. but still ask me to eat.
and my dad even cuter. he asked me to buy a pepper spray and put into my bag just in case. haha.
wat a cute and sweet parents i have. luv them. ><
ma parents are just so cute.
mum says that RM1 for an apple is cheap but RM1 for a kiwi is expensive. hmm. but still ask me to eat.
and my dad even cuter. he asked me to buy a pepper spray and put into my bag just in case. haha.
wat a cute and sweet parents i have. luv them. ><
有时在想，为什么我会一无反顾地喜欢你。虽然我说过要忘记。
跟别人讲忘记讲到好像吃巧克力酱容易。自己 却一直不能。
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Over the MOON~!!!! on the cloud 9!!!!
I just cant believe it!!!! just an hour before, my university's "lost and found" counter called me up when I was taking my evening nap and told me that my purse was found. I was like O.o my purse??? then i went to my bag and checked..OMG my purse really lost...and guess what??
I Lost my purse unnoticed and Found it unexpected!!!!hahaha,
really Thanks God for giving back my purse. and a big THANK YOU to the one who found it!!!really thank you!!!! and the counter uncle told me he don't know who found it. I just want to thank you..really appreciate your honesty. May God Bless You always.
I Lost my purse unnoticed and Found it unexpected!!!!hahaha,
really Thanks God for giving back my purse. and a big THANK YOU to the one who found it!!!really thank you!!!! and the counter uncle told me he don't know who found it. I just want to thank you..really appreciate your honesty. May God Bless You always.
hehe my lost and found purse.. >.< thank you ^0^
@@
its been a busy week.... all the assignments and class-tests crashed together...=(
tomolo still got test lagi...T.T
NO MOOD AT ALL!!
sometimes we have to learn not to be calculative and take things too seriously...
forgive them and be ourselves and be happy always is all we need to do...
gonna ignored what you said. >.<
miss you miss you...
tomolo still got test lagi...T.T
NO MOOD AT ALL!!
sometimes we have to learn not to be calculative and take things too seriously...
forgive them and be ourselves and be happy always is all we need to do...
gonna ignored what you said. >.<
miss you miss you...
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