=]

I get it. I really got it.
my heart sank.
well, perhaps this is the Christmas eve present for me from you.
I just want to run away. 

可不可以.....

可不可以有个人，

在我眼泪就快掉下来急着躲不被认何人看见我哭时之前，

把手遮着我的眼睛。

可不可以有个人，
看见我静静的笑或没表情的时候，
不会不理我，
不会真的认为我很坚强，
肩膀承受的了，
觉得我真的无所谓。

可不可以有个人，
在我真的遇到难题找他时，
不会找不到他，
或是就算回我信息了，
我却没有回他信息时不会不担心我，
要知道有问题时我都会自己解决，不会随便求人，
在我会找他时就是我很无助很没办法了。

可不可以有个人，
就算是我做错事了，
也不会不理我，
不会转头就走丢下我……

Alone in Crowd.

Came to the airport 7 hours earlier before my flight.
First experience to stay overnight in the airport.
Thought McD will have the seat I want, but end up no.
Went Starbucks then. Sarcastically, just after half an hour I sat there,enjoying my green tea flow, the waiter came and said: " Starbucks is closing at 1.30am.."
Wow....now what?? no choice. back to McD.
Sitting together with bunch of people I don't know, speaking Foochow happily like they are the only Foochows in M'sia. * laugh stock of the day.

Now here I am, wondering why people rushing their time. For what very reason  they live their lives.
Saw lots of the passengers wearing or carrying Burberry, LV, Salvator.F, Gucci.......
We are born to earth, developing, studying, working, marrying, reproducing, ageing, Die.

Why do we want to go for those branded goods??

Was thinking, am I being too materialistic??
thought about the money I spent in the past few days.
Some people work very hard just to get this amount of money to pay their fees or loan.
but I just spent it on something I want.
and I tend to go for branded goods. *not those Salvator or Gucci yet of course.
Does it really worth it??
People bought a dress with 15 but I need to bought it with 150. Some will even bought it with 1500.
I can't imagine myself wearing a RM15 dress walking along the street.
I don't know, I just can't help it. I will feel like some parts of me is very wrong.

they said money is never enough.
Earning money is not tough. but saving money is tough.
Its true. We use 200 bucks perfume when our salary is 2000 bucks.
but we will be using 2000 bucks perfume when our salary is 20000 bucks.
Its the same isn't it? We will go for those higher.
Sigh....Life is never simple.
No idea now.
Boarding time soon. till then.

No Idea.

不懂为什么，看到你，我心里闷闷的。
真的不懂。不明白。

HOLIDAYS

somehow it means time for relax, enjoy and SHOPPING~~!!! huhuhuhuhuhhuhu XD
hmm so me and my fren went JOGOYA  to like celebrate our "Finish Exam"...
hmm it was a HAPPY GATHERING!!!!
and I seriously need to budget myself in shopping.
I was spending like HELL today. OMG!!!!!! >.< satisfied though.

Photo speaks.

this is starhill gallery. like the deco of the roof.

something tat we took.

foods.

me and my dear wei wei~

and this is our Mr. Lobster. only VIP member can have that. hahaha .credits to the card holder.

pardon me. haha.

nice one.

Da He Zao

and this is my dear IDA POOO~~~*eyes closed?

yay!!my "Flight of Fancy". smells good.

bought two. this is "Secret Wish".

 HAPPY HOLIDAY~~!!!!

ohya...and my new look.

curled my hair. just a lil bit. >.< look older...or mature?? hahahha..

 GoodNitezzz

Happy Birthday Jesus.

It brings tears to my eyes. It really do.
As I told you.
Christmas isn't about Santa Claus. It isn't about jingle bells.
It isn't about those snowman, isn't about those blinking lights.
It isn't about those little red dress and isn't about the christmas tree.

Its all about Jesus Christ. Our Savior.
Christmas is the day of remembrance that Jesus Christ came down to earth.
Its Jesus Birthday. Not Santa giving present. Not Jingle bell rings and rocks.

The only present on Christmas is Jesus.
He is the best gift in Christmas. and the best gift in our life.

So if you don't about Jesus, let me tell you.
He is the son of our God Almighty.
He suppose to be high up in the heaven with our Heavenly Father.
But He came down to earth just to save us. Just to save me and you, these awful sinners.
Yes I am a sinner. and a sinner CANNOT go into Heaven. NO. You cannot.
But God loves us. He sent his only son down to earth and DIE on the cross to cleanse all our sins.
By that, we can enter heaven and be with our God, our King, our Heavenly Father.
The blood of Jesus Christ save us.
We suppose to be in Hell,with Satan.
But Jesus trades us with his life. He died on the cross. His blood cleanse our sins.
All you need to do is just say "Yes " to Jesus and ask him to enter your life and cleanse all your sins.
He WILL FORGIVE you. He is a loving God.
So now, Heaven or Hell?? Its your choice.
I have made my choice. I want Jesus in my life.

Lastly i want to say,
Thank you Jesus. Jesus I Love You.

I can make it through the rain

Tear just drops when I listened to it.
Yes I can make it.
I can make it through the rain.
I can stand up once again on my own .
and I know that I’m strong enough to mend.
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith.
And I live one more day.
And I'll make it through the rain.

Thank you for this song.

CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jingle bell jingle bell jingle bell rocks!!!!!!
LOL i know this has nothing to do with the true meaning of christmas.
hahahhah but i just luv this song~~><
lol 1 paper down, 3 to go~~~ *wish me luck and bless in my final exam!!!!
but still im here listening and singing the christmas song out loud in my room~~
hahahahhahahaha im just sooo happy!!!!! finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOLIDAY!!! and CHRISTMAS!!!!!!
hmm will have a real christmas post later!!hahahahahhahahahhahahahahhaha
im just sooooooooooooooooo HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank You Jesus Christ!!!!!!!!!!!!! for came down to earth! luv ya.

=[

why i always do something like this.
i seems like to do things at last minute. which is BAD.
I seriously freak out.
what if i blank off during my exam and what if i can't pass.
I really scared. =(
Pray for me.

We will Dance

This song is just so dear. I fell in love with this song from the very beginning.
so, just want to share it with you all.
by Steven Curtis Chapman. dearly rhythm and melody.





well i suppose to be buried by my notes during this time.
but this song just makes me alive.
hope you all will like it.toddles.

怎樣才能嫁給有錢人？

很好的帖子哦。女士们  请看过来！！！

但我要说，靠自己虽是非常好，但靠神却是最好的！！

一個年輕漂亮的美國女孩，在美國一家大型網上論壇金融版上，發表了這樣一個問題帖︰

我怎樣才能嫁給有錢人？

我下面要說的都是心裡話。本人25歲，非常漂亮，是那種讓人驚艷的漂亮，談吐文雅，有品位，想嫁給年薪 50 萬美元的人。

你也許會說我貪心，但在紐約年薪100萬才算是中產，本人的要求其實不高。這個版上有沒有年薪超過50萬的人？你們都結婚了嗎？我想請教各位一個問題 -- 怎樣才能嫁給你們這樣的有錢人？

我約會過的人中，最有錢的年薪25萬，這似乎只是我的下標。要住進紐約中心公園以西的高尚住宅區，年薪25萬遠遠不夠。我是來誠心誠意請教的。有幾個具體的問題︰

一、有錢的單身漢一般都在哪裡消磨時光？（請列出酒吧、飯店、健身的名字和詳細地址。）

二、我應該把目標定在哪個年齡段？

三、為什麼有些富豪的妻子看起來相貌平平？我見過有些女孩，長相如同白開水，毫無吸引人的地方，但她們卻能嫁入豪門。而單身酒吧裡那些迷死人的美女卻運氣不佳。

四、你們怎麼決定誰能做妻子，誰只能做女朋友？（我現在的目標是結婚。）

波爾斯女士 --

下面是一個華爾街金融家的回帖︰

親愛的波爾斯︰我懷著極大的興趣看完了貴帖，相信不少女士也有跟你類似的疑問。讓我以一個投資專家的身份，對你的處境做一分析。

我年薪超過50萬，符合你的擇偶標準，所以請相信我並不是在浪費大家的時間。

從生意人的角度來看，跟你結婚是個糟糕的經營決策，道理再明白不過，請聽我解釋。拋開細枝末節，你所說的其實是一筆簡單的“財”“貌”交易︰甲方提供述人的外表，乙方出錢，公平交易，童叟無欺。但是，這裡有個致命的問題，你的美貌會消逝，但我的錢卻不會無緣無故減少。

事實上，我的收入很可能會逐年遞增．而你不可能一年比一年漂亮。因此，從經濟學的角度 講，我是增值資產，你是貶值資產，不但貶值，而且是加速貶值！你現在25歲，在未來的五年裡，你仍可以保持窈窕的身段，俏麗的容貌，雖然每年略有退步。但 美貌消逝的速度會越來越快，如果它是你僅有的資產，十年以後你的價值甚憂。

用華爾街術語說，每筆交易都有一個倉位，跟你交往屬於「交易倉位（TradingPosition）」，一旦價值下跌就要立即拋售，而不宜長期持有--也就是你想要的婚姻。聽起來很殘忍，但對一件會加速貶值的物資，明智的選擇是租賃，而不是購入。

年薪能超過50萬的人，當然都不是傻瓜，因此我們只會跟你交往，但不會跟你結婚。所以我勸你不要苦苦尋找嫁給有錢人的秘方。順便說一句，你倒可以想辦法把自己變成年薪 50 萬的人，這比碰到一個有錢的傻瓜的勝算要大。

希望我的回帖能對你有幫助。如果你對“租賃”感興趣，請跟我聯繫。

It's a nice one isn't it??? Do keep it in mind.

原谅我没有说

不经意 在逛街时 又听到这首歌。
这首我曾经很喜欢很喜欢的歌。
很久没听了。一听，很多的回忆又浮现。
=)想跟你说，
=)原谅我的自私 原谅我的懦弱 原谅我的不相信 原谅我的没自信 原谅我的不主动 原谅我的忽略
=)原谅我的没有说。
李圣杰的歌不错。歌词我喜欢。

At last

you proved that my assumptions and my thoughts were real.
you are not as simple as everyone thought you were.
I used to like a great quote. suits you very much.
"对付虚伪的人，不是骂她，不是拆穿她，而是让她继续悲哀地虚伪着，然后装作什么也不知道。那么慢慢地，很多人会主动跑来告诉你她有多虚伪。
对付自私的人，不是恨她，不是不理她，而是渐渐远离她，从心底远离她，然后装作什么都不知道。如果她去找别人，那么你会发现，很多人都远离了她。"
Tats RIGHT!! I did that and the result shows positive.
I told you I like to enjoy people "drama-ing" themselves.
and being a bystander is just fascinating.
people came and told me you were "like tat like tat" were also fun.
Once one said,
You can cheat someone every time, You can cheat everyone sometime,
BUT You cannot cheat everyone every time.
Just be yourself girl. and dun be too calculative. It sucks.

我只能说

你的见识，经历不多。。。那不是个大问题。
问题是，你觉得你已经经历了很多，见识很广了。
=)

属马的

我哦！！我属马的!
跟我性格有97%Bingo 讷。原来我很多优点的。哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈。
Fb copy and paste的。>.<
请自己把 “属马” 改成 “我”

属马的人性格很奇怪,有时候超爱说话,有时候可以一天不说话,高兴的时候,会拼命的说话,不高兴的时候,一句话也不说. * my fren said tats really me.
属马的人不爱记仇,但谁对他好谁对他不好,他还是记得很清楚的* i seriously know.
属马的把真实的自己藏于半夜的寂静和午夜明朗的笑声中.
属马的最注重的就是安全感.希望被保护,却常常是一个人.
属马的不容易爱上一个人，但一旦爱上便很难自拔。一旦受伤，总是被伤的很深。只有几个贴心朋友


属马的是个很爱撒娇的孩子、总是很依赖别人
属马的喜欢海,喜欢顾影自怜.喜欢自己舔伤口.
属马的性格很古怪而又孤僻,他们会突然在大笑中沉默,感觉悲伤.
属马的心里想什么从来不说.别人也猜不到.
属马的嘴上说不在乎、心里却早已悲凉、心里的那把火早已熄灭 .


属马的选择了沉默、不在像以前那样挚热的去追求某样东西 .* =)
属马的总是很爱回忆、回忆以前的点点滴滴、以前的大小事只是默默的想着.
属马的座的人天生敏锐，与生具备的第六感，对人的内心有超乎寻常的洞察力，但他会把这些东西放在心里，属马的人可以把你的眼神、内心看得很清楚，但却不会告诉你，他用旁观的态度判定虚伪 . *I seriously enjoy watching them direct their "movie". kinda entertaining.
属马的人不懂甜言蜜语，不屑拍马屁 .
属马的人本能的排斥虚伪和做作的人 .* those who know me probably knew it long ago.


属马的人不会真的发火，就算生气，也很快忘记！
属马的人只对真正懂他的人，展示他的创造性，他的情绪变得冷淡就证明他开始对你重新审视， 当他越是沉默，就代表他越是生气 . * yes this is so true. I will "cool" when i re-evaluate you.
属马的人可能看起来很凶，其实内心是最柔软的 . * I dun think I look fierce.
属马的人看起来很冷淡，但那只是保护自己的方法 .
属马的人很重视友情，但被伤害后绝对不再友善 . *Tats true. Never will friend you if you ever hurt me. I forgive, but not forget.


属马的人很容易被感动，但感动中又保有理智 .huhuhuhhuuhu proud to be myself.
属马的人可能看起来很坚强，其实是最脆弱的 .
属马的人可能很爱哭，但他的哭并不代表认输 .****我没有很爱哭！！！错了。
属马的人可能看起来很笨，其实大智若愚 . *I especially like this.hahahaha but I dun look stupid didnt I?

属马的人可能做事很毛躁，但内心很细心 .
属马的人天生敏感和细腻，却会用心鉴定 .

属马的懦弱，受了伤之后，只知道躲在无人的地方独自哭泣 .

属马的虚伪，明明已经心痛到无法呼吸，还要在最爱的他面前假装坚强；不轻易让任何人走进他自己独自的世界

属马的笑容，无论开心或者悲伤，他都是一脸笑容，笑容，是他们伪装自己最好的武器. *smile.

属马的眼泪，从不轻易让人看见，他的泪，从来只有知道。

属马的退缩， 属马的，永远不会轻易说爱或者喜欢，除非真的喜欢到了极点，否则，要他们表白几乎不可能，但是，一旦表白，他们就是不遗余力的付出，即使知道这样做换来的结果可能是深深的伤害…



属马的，永远只可能做同一件事两次，表白也一样，同一个人，只可能听到他向你最深的表白两次，两次之后，就是绝对的安静了…即使仍然深爱着，他也没有勇气再说第三遍我爱你…他的退缩，不能重复一件事第三次 .*now I know why I always give ppl only 3 chances.

属马的愚蠢，不懂的怎么挽回深爱的人的心，只能自己心中默默的祝福和祈祷。

受了伤的马，只会在角落独自忍受锥心的痛.

属马的：体贴第一名，爱吃第一名，爱家第一名，孝顺第一名，多愁善感第一名。
* this one super suit me..haha Luv to EAT~!!! >< 

80和90后的特点

突然看到这个文章。
现在的人真的就是酱。

1.熟人面前说个不停，生人面前一言不发。

2.为了不熬夜，不如就通宵。

3.不问问题，只查Google和baidu。

4.对一切事物充满好奇，但除了课本和作业。...

5.欢制定周密的个人计划，然后不执行。

6.经常早饭中饭并在一起吃。

7.永远不知道自己的钱花到哪儿去了。

8.网友成为朋友，朋友成为网友。

嘻嘻。。我不幸的也成为其中一个。。不过最后两个我没有噢。。 呵呵。。
要忏悔悔改了。。。huhuhu

有时候

想活在古代。很好笑   我知道。
可是真的有时候活在古代该有多好。

以前，没有那么复杂的事情。
现今，所有的东西都是复杂的。

复杂的男女关系。*应该没有人会反对咯。。
复杂的朋友关系。
复杂的人际关系。
复杂的奇怪思想。*看看现在流行的打扮。Vampires??? Seriously!! What on earth are those stupid ugly makeup..with those bloody lipstick used from lips to your neck. What the heck.

。。。eda说，如果活在古代他现在就可以结婚生子了。多好。。 =.=
古代有时真不错。。。*喜欢他们的衣服。。。>< 这不是重点。。

以前人，结婚就是一辈子，一物订终生。。
现在，换了一个又一个。。一个女人有不同男人还有不同孩子。男人也一样，有不同女人和不同孩子。
结婚，没有多大意义了。
单身，是蛮明确的选择。既不伤害人，也不伤害自己。
但是!!要做就一定要做个单身贵族！！>< 不可以做个贫苦的单身。

haizz.......
是我太简单，还是世界太复杂。。。
还是，其实世界很简单，人心很复杂。。。

So sorry.

Im really sorry if you were hurt by what I said. I really am. I don't meant it.
And I definitely don't know the truth and thats the reason I said that. 
You don't seems angry or sad but i don't know...
just somehow I feel that you are somewhat sad and speechless...
I am really sorry...

做蘑菇

like this articles so much. share with you all.
當你需要時，是否有人蹲下來陪你做一隻蘑菇
有一個精神病人，以為自己是一隻蘑菇，於是他每天都撐著一把傘蹲在房間的牆角裡，不吃也不喝，像一隻真正的蘑菇一樣。
心理醫生想了一個辦法。有一天，心理醫生也撐了一把傘，蹲坐在了病人的旁邊。病人很奇怪地問：你是誰呀？醫生回答：我也是一隻蘑菇呀。病人點點頭，繼續做他的蘑菇。
過了一會兒，醫生站了起來，在房間裡走來走去，病人就問他：你不是蘑菇麼，怎麼可以走來走去？
……
醫生回答說：蘑菇當然也可以走來走去啦！病人覺得有道理，就也站起來走走。
又過了一會兒，醫生拿出一個漢堡包開始吃，病人又問：咦，你不是蘑菇麼，怎麼可以吃東西？醫生理直氣壯地回答：蘑菇當然也可以吃東西呀！病人覺得很對，於是也開始吃東西。
幾個星期以後，這個精神病人就能像正常人一樣生活了，雖然，他還覺得自己是一隻蘑菇。
其實……
一個人可以帶著過去的創傷繼續，只要他把悲傷放在心裡的一個圈圈裡，不要讓苦痛浸染了他的整個生命，他就可以像正常人一樣快樂地生活。
當一個人悲傷得難以自持的時候，也許，他不需要太多的勸解和安慰，訓誡和指明，他需要的，只是能有一個人在他身邊蹲下來，陪他做一隻蘑菇。

Guilty

I know I shouldn't went back home earlier. I know I should have stay and make up my promise.
I know that was irresponsible and somethings gonna change.
But ....I don't know, I just simply have no mood.
Duhh....I know emotion cannot get between Lord and me. But....duhh...
Maybe the temptation is way too stronger than I thought.

Heavenly Father please forgive me for not attending the practice.
and for not reading your word everyday as I should have. and for not whispering to you for so long.
and for ignoring what You said to me. and for being such a lazy bug. and for being a coward. and for being not attentive. for not being hardworking. for not managing my time and money well. for being rude. for being not initiative. for the wrong things i may have said. and everything that hated by You. Im sorry Lord. Forgive me.and draw me out of temptation....

Goodnight...or Goodmorning....

이상해

내가 최근에 많이 울었습니다..

=)

Silence.

Now I doubt. Is this what I really want? Is this what I really admired and wanted to be?
I cant imagine myself walking around in there. SERIOUSLY.
and now i can do nothing. So just follow His path.

发现

我  错过了好多。真的好多。而且是我自己放的手。
所以，后悔 也没用。但是 还是要感恩。我决定 不要再错过了。
 ><  hmm share a song with you all.

If you wanna change the world. You need to start from yourself.
YES!! So im gonaa start changing myself FIRST!!! starting with the man in the mirror!! ME.

Micheal Jackson--Man in the Mirror.  *but this is James Morrison version. like this soft version more. ^^



hehe and my lee hom de version.. ><

Life

is short. and unpredictable.
just a few hours before, while i was getting ready to my youth, i received a shocking news.
A girl died. I know there are thousand of ppl died today. But this girl is special.
We  used to have our English tuition together. She is really a nice sister.
She sang really WELL. angelic voice. and she is tender yet active and out-going.
I just couldn't imagine her gone. She went away because of asthma, alone in her hostel.
Its really sad. I think her parents were sadder.

And its kinda dilemma for me coz in this very night, one of my frens and the fellowship is celebrating their birthday.
I cant' show my sad face to them. It will spoiled their mood. but i was really out of my mind.
I laughed crazily tonight. =) while others thought I was happy I was actually blurred.

Life is short. You never know when, how and who will go.
Cherish your life and the time we had to save more soul.
Luckily Rebekah believes Jesus and I am pretty sure they are having their reunion now in heaven.
R.I.P.

Good Story.

A Good one. Don't agree about the" have sex before marriage" tough.
傍晚,餘輝如金，把天空鍍成織錦一般，臨海的一家肯德雞店裡，我倚著椅背，欣賞著落地窗外的風景。突然，耳邊傳來一個男人的溫和的聲音：“小姐，我們可以 聊聊天嗎？”我下了一跳，有點惱的望過去，卻觸到一對清澈含笑的眼睛。 我打量他，高大的身材配一張耐看的臉，穿著一身質地良好的休閒杉和長褲，給人的感覺熨帖而清爽，我唇角一彎，邪笑：“我的男朋友馬上就來了，你還和我聊 嗎？”“當然和你聊了，因為你根本就沒有男朋友？”他大方的坐在我的面前。肆無忌憚地盯著我說：“我已經注意你很久了，沒有女孩在等男朋友的心情會這麼懶 散。”我露出貝齒，甜甜地笑了。這個男孩的精明讓我感到陡生，我愉快的和他聊了起來。 就這樣，我認識了安傑，一家電腦公司的工程師。我們第二次見面，他的手上捧著一束馬蹄蓮，用綠色的素紙包著，映著他深情如酒的微笑。

第三次在月亮升起時，他約我去海邊散步。海風漸涼，他用他的寬大的懷抱溫暖我。第四次我們在說笑間，突然，他俯下身，為我細心地系好散開的鞋帶。那一刻，我感動的對自己說：我一定要和他戀愛。

與安傑戀愛一月後，我伏在安傑的胸膛，問他：“安傑，我不是處女，你會愛我嗎？”他撫著我淩亂的頭髮，就像在撫摸一隻可愛的小狗：“傻瓜，都什麼年代了，還問這麼老土的問題，我在乎的是兩個人是否相愛。”

我快樂的從床上蹦起來，又撲了上去：“安傑，我真是太、太愛你了。”

第二天，我提著自己的行李，搬進了安傑的房子。我們開始了同居。

同居的日子如飽含雨露的鮮花，美麗動人。每天清晨，當陽光濾過白色的窗幔，我穿著居家服，穿著拖鞋，去廚房為安傑準備早餐、煎蛋、烤麵包、沖牛奶，然後安傑起床。這個時候，安傑總會用用他沒刷牙的嘴亂嚷：“老婆，你真是這世界上最美麗最勤勞的女人了。”

幸福的就像空氣中彌漫的雞蛋牛奶味，香香的，甜甜的。

一天傑路過一家時尚小屋，小屋的門前掛著一個小小的粉紅色的牌子：還你處身，只要80元。我嘻嘻笑著說：“聽說男人都有處女情結，彌補一下你的遺憾。聽說這東西，會落紅，跟真的一樣。”

安傑認真的看著:我小如：“我沒有處女情結，你不用補償。再說，不是處女沒什麼可恥，拿那假的東西騙人才可恨。”

我又一次感動的像小狗一樣，把腦袋使勁往安傑懷裡鑽：“安傑，你真是世界上最偉大的男人，我一定會好好愛你一輩子。
”
與安傑同居的第60天，他帶我去南昌老家拜見了他的父母。在他的父母面前，安傑毫不掩飾與我的親昵，攬腰、摟肩，使明眼的父母一眼看穿了我們的關係。臨走 時，安傑母親塞給我一個小錦盒，打開看，是一枚色澤久遠的祖母綠的戒指，不知所措間，安傑的母親和藹的安撫我：“這是我們家的傳家寶，是傳給兒媳婦的。” 安傑立在一邊，笑眯眯地望著。 戴上安傑家的的傳家戒指，我開始憧憬與安傑的婚禮。西式的教堂，簇眼的鮮花，及一對身穿著婚紗禮服的壁人，踩著音樂，在神父和祝福的親朋面前莊嚴起誓：無 論貧窮富有，健康疾病，我們不離不棄。安傑則嚮往去海底舉行婚禮，身著潛水服，在海洋裡與無數奇奇怪怪的魚共舞。那種感覺，多妙 ！

9月，安傑被公司派往武漢工作二個月。我為他收拾行李，我邊往他的行李箱裡裝剃鬚刀、男士面霜，一邊說：“安傑，我不在你身邊，你可要好好把握自己，別讓妖精勾去了。”安傑摟著我：“寶貝，你是我父母欽點的兒媳，有妖精我也不敢去惹呀。”

安傑走了，偌大的房子就只剩下寂寞的我。生活猶如被抽走了陽光和空氣，沉悶至極。早晨醒來，身邊空蕩蕩的，便無一點做早餐的興致。晚上，不敢看那些恐怖的 鬼片，因為沒有安傑寬厚安全的懷可鑽。安傑的電話總會在深夜十點準時響起，親昵的稀釋著我寂寞的心。但思念如野草般瘋長，安傑離開我一個月後，我期期艾艾 的說：“安傑，離開我了我才知道你對我有多重要。等你回家了，我們結婚好不好，我總有一種擔心，擔心時間會離間我們。”安傑心疼的說：“好，等我一回家， 我們就結婚。”

我每天反反復複的數著安傑的歸期。下班時路過影樓，望著一幅幅照片裡的美眷，嘴角總會漾起傻傻的笑，過不了多久，我和安傑也會成為一對畫中壁人。

安傑工作期前半個月，每天例行的電話時常會中斷。問他原因，他說工作即將收尾，要做的事情很多。我信了，囑咐的他多休息。臨了，撒嬌的說：“安傑，我已經 看好一套水晶之戀婚紗照，很不錯，還有很多優惠服務呢。”安傑淡淡“哦”了一聲。安傑的淡然讓我閃出一絲不安。但很快的我又笑自己神經質。撫著安傑家的祖 傳戒指，我幸福的對自己說：小如，你快要做美麗新娘了。

安傑回來的時候情緒閃爍不定，尤其不敢直視我的眼睛。直覺告訴我，安傑有事瞞著我。我咬著唇，克制自己不去揭安傑的心事。只要能和安傑結婚，他的豔遇，我可以隱忍。

我帶著安傑來到影樓。從試衣間出來，一身白紗的我猶如仙子，安傑看的呆愕了。我笑著挽起他的手臂，我與安傑終於定格成為美麗無雙的眷侶。

我松了口氣。安傑繼續每天呆在電腦上工作，偶爾會有一些令他神色不自然的電話打來。我視若無睹，繼續籌備著我們婚禮用品。

安傑回家的第十天，家裡來了一為不速之客。安傑見了她，臉色刷地白了。我冷冷地望著他們，說：“你們談吧，我出去一下。”下樓時候，我已經虛脫的無法自製了。

我坐在社區的花園裡，亂亂的回憶那個女孩。細細柔柔，小巧如玉的臉上梨花帶雨，是那麼的淒怨無助，我的心口奔湧著巨大的痛，只怕，安傑的這次不是豔遇那麼簡單。

一個小時後，安傑發瘋般抱著她沖出來。近了，我看清楚了那個女孩，手腕上竟有大片的血。天，她居然割腕自殺！我驚訝地捂上自己的嘴。安傑沖上馬路，攔了一輛車。

女孩被搶救了過來，蒼白的臉，靜靜地打著點滴。她的手緊緊的握著安傑的手，弱弱的哀求：“安傑，你怎麼可以這樣對我不負責任？我求你了，不要拋棄我。” 安傑吻著他無骨般的小手，眼睛裡盛滿了愛憐：“好，我不會離開你了。”我退了出去，那一幕，如刀般插在我的心間。

安傑從裡面走了出來，說：“她睡著了。”我再也無法平靜，眼睛噴了火，逼視著他。安傑垂下頭，說了他們的故事。那個女孩叫紫竹，在武漢，他們在同一所大廈 上班。電梯裡相遇多了，就成了一起喝茶聊天的朋友。他們認識的一個月後，有一個晚上，兩人在一起喝了很多的酒，就發生了不該發生的故事。

我流著淚，幾乎是吼著問他：“那你現在準備怎麼辦？要他，還是要我~~~~~”

安傑望著別處，說：“我也不知道，我也不知道~~~~~”

安傑最終決定與紫竹結婚，多日的相愛一朝化水，我失控般的揪著安傑的衣領：“為什麼不要我，要他？”

“小如，你比她堅強，沒有我，你還可以活下去，可她不行，她太柔弱了。我放棄她的話，她就會變成一具死屍。”

“你是說她可以為你去死嗎？我告訴你，我也可以。”我迅速的拉開皮包，從裡面掏出一把鋒利的小刀，飛快的向手腕劃去。

拿刀的手被安傑及時捏住了。安傑紅著眼睛，痛苦的說：“小如，你何必如此呢？她和你不一樣的，她跟我的時候是個處女。我一個大男人，總不能如此辜負一個清清白白的女孩。”

我“轟”地一下震住了，小刀叮咚掉到地上，回過神來，我狠狠地扇了他一個耳光：“你不是說你沒有處女情結嗎？其實在你的心裡，處女還是高貴的更需要憐惜的，而我就活該遭你的拋棄的對不對？”

我收起了眼淚，義無反顧沖了出去。為這樣的男人自殺，不值得。

安傑的婚禮在一個月後舉行的。那天，我跑到酒吧，買醉。往事種種已成過眼雲煙，，婚紗照自然沒有去取，祖傳戒指我也還給了他，婚照、祖傳戒指都套不住愛 情。套住安傑的最終還是紫竹的貞操。喝到醉眼惺忪時，我在酒吧破口大駡，罵男人混蛋、偽君子、騙子。所有的男人都望著我，驚奇的，戲謔的，曖昧的，什麼眼 神都有。那一刻，我覺得自己極像個殘花敗柳。
幾個月後，我去超市採購食物。轉了幾圈，竟遇上安傑和他的妻子——紫竹，他們在選購嬰婦用品。見了我，安傑臉色訕訕的，畢竟他對我還是有一絲愧疚的。略有 發胖的紫竹偎著安傑，一臉幸福的笑：“我懷孕了，寶寶快三個月了。”“哦，祝福你們”雖然恨著，但我還是對他們擠出了一朵微笑。

趁安傑去收銀台的時候，紫竹告訴我：“安傑是個好丈夫，我懷孕以後，他不許我做一點家務。每天早晨，我都要為我做早餐，還說要保證母嬰營養~~~”一陣痛漫了過來，安傑為了她，重複我以前為他做的事。

與他們分別後，鬱悶無處發洩，便狠狠朝前飛了一腳。沒想到正踢中一部小車的尾部，報警器發瘋般的叫，嚇的我是落荒而逃。

幾天後的深夜，電話鈴尖銳的響。我抓過來，聽見了安傑慌忙的聲音：“小如，快過來啊，紫竹流紅了，怕是要流產。”我一驚，穿起衣服沖到樓下打車。在路上，我煩亂的想，你不是恨他們嗎？為什麼聽說他們有事，竟也緊張起來了？

紫竹被我們送到了醫院，病房外，安傑煩躁的抽著煙。來來回回的走著怨著：“都怪我，不該讓她為我沖咖啡。她懷孕了，怎麼能去沖咖啡呢？”看著他對紫竹的心 疼，我狠不得沖上去喊：只不過是懷孕而已，連沖個咖啡都不可以嗎？但嘴上卻安慰他說：“放心吧，有那麼好的醫生，紫竹不會有事的。”醫生出來了，說胎兒保 住了。安傑長長的松了口氣。突然，醫生皺著眉說：“你們男人總是不懂憐惜妻子，她到底做了多少次人流啊，子宮薄得幾乎沒有能力保護胎兒。”
我們同時呆住了。尤其是安傑，眼神空洞的望著醫生，一句話都說不出來。

我走出了醫院。濃濃的夜色，我真想放聲大笑，那個紫竹可是第一次為安傑懷孕啊。但心頭暗湧，更是晦晦的酸澀。我想起當初與安傑走過的那個時尚小屋，“還你處女身，只要80元。”那個紫竹，精明的只用80元，就毀了我與安傑的過去和未來。原來愛情，有時脆弱的只值80元。

其實大多數時候男生和女生只會傷害真正愛自己的人！！！祝所有人都珍惜深愛自己的人！！！

O.o

There's number of frens in FB are "in a relationship with...." recently.
I was wondering If. I mean IF, you guys are just playing around. No offense.
I know there are real relationship among those number. Ok just exclude them then.
Im saying those KID's minded. OMGosh. I was shocked by a girl. Really.
How on earth could you??!! You are changing your mates over and over again just to get advantages.
Or just want to have new mate after broking with your ex.
You are not kids or young anymore. Couldn't you be more mature while dealing with it?
Im not saying like im matured enough. But i knw that True Love Waits.
and hurting someone who used to be intimated with you is NOT GOOD AT ALL!
You are just digging your own grave if you continue what you are doing now.
Wake up please.

???

I just don't know.
I just can't talk in front bunch of people Im not familiar with.
Sometimes i think my mind just blank off and nothing came up. but after those nervous section and i sat down. I have thousand of words and thoughts. sigh..
guess im really weird.

.....

The only thing i did was Nothing.
after reading wat you wrote, I was stoned.
Seriously. Never felt that way before. like a part of me was tearing off.
but...i was thinking maybe its our destiny. maybe it is meant to be like tat.
Cheers to everyone. Be Happy.

Stop Smoking

saw this meaningful video accidentally on FB.
had posted about this smoking stuff before but no matter how many times, i will still urge for that as long as somebody can see this and..i don't know... maybe be a courage for them.



Don't smoke people. Don't hurt your beloved one.
And for those who were addicted, please do try hard to quit it.
There are only pros and no con for quitting it.

T.T

1st-ly I was spending like hell today...T.T  my bank is hungry after so many storage been swiped off....needs money...
hmm but still thanks God. for so much mercy.

2nd-ly. I AM SURE that   You are not trust-able. You cheated me so many times.
Although it never really hurt me. i mean physically. but it shows that you are not honest.

Funny.

Some people like to live in their own built world. or suppose to say fairy tale world??
Why don't just face the real world ?? Its not as scary as you think. There's something nice too.

My dad is CUTE

haha just finished skype-ing with daddy and mummy.
ma parents are just so cute.
mum says that RM1 for an apple is cheap but RM1 for a kiwi is expensive. hmm. but still ask me to eat.
and my dad even cuter. he asked me to buy a pepper spray and put into my bag just in case. haha.
wat a cute and sweet parents i have. luv them. ><

有时在想，为什么我会一无反顾地喜欢你。虽然我说过要忘记。

跟别人讲忘记讲到好像吃巧克力酱容易。自己  却一直不能。

Over the MOON~!!!! on the cloud 9!!!!

I just cant believe it!!!! just an hour before, my university's "lost and found" counter called me up when I was taking my evening nap and told me that my purse was found. I was like O.o my purse??? then i went to my bag and checked..OMG  my purse really lost...and guess what??
I Lost my purse unnoticed and Found it unexpected!!!!hahaha,
really Thanks God for giving back my purse. and a big THANK YOU to the one who found it!!!really thank you!!!! and the counter uncle told me he don't know who found it. I just want to thank you..really appreciate your honesty. May God Bless You always.

 

hehe my lost and found purse.. >.< thank you  ^0^

@@

its been a busy week.... all the assignments and class-tests crashed together...=(
tomolo still got test lagi...T.T
NO MOOD AT ALL!!

sometimes we have to learn not to be calculative and take things too seriously...
forgive them and be ourselves and be happy always is all we need to do...
gonna ignored what you said.   >.<

miss you miss you...

不要笑我

“我唯一的梦想，就是和你共同拥有我们的白色小洋房和小孩，建立我们的世界”

曾经，在看过这句话时，觉得说的人很荒唐，很勇敢，更是很好笑。

荒唐-怎么可能叻？？ 难道你一生就这样？梦想一个小洋房及一个男人还有一堆小孩罢聊？？拥有后了呢？跟家人一起与世隔绝？
勇敢-唯一的梦想就是这个小小的梦想，而且还把它赌在一个男人的身上。你也太勇敢了吧。
好笑-*我个人觉得很幼稚。
=) 我很佩服。真的。

但，看过了一篇文章后，我有点了解  说的人  为什么会说了。
原来 这些才是每个人需要的。
当全世界抛弃你时，你依然拥有的就真的只是那个已经成真的梦想了。可能除了那个白色小洋房咯。

哈哈。朋友问，你以后老公要怎样的？我还没答她就帮我答了。一定要很有钱，很帅。
我笑 但是没回答。
其实
不是一定要很有钱。而是一定要有上进心。
家境再好，留给一个没上进心的男人，始终一定会破产的，搞不好还欠债叻。
反光，一个有上进心的男人反而会把没钱 变有钱。为你拼搏。
而且那些不求上进的男的，有几个是非常爱女朋友的？而那些非常爱女朋友的男人，有几个是每天混日子的？

不是一定要很帅。如果说帅不然说认真。认真的男人最有魅力了。
我一向都不欣赏帅哥，但欣赏有魅力的男人。
帅哥总有一天 会老 会看讨厌的。而且，这世界的帅哥太多了。真的很多。各式各样的都有。看不完。
所以不用很帅，能吸引我注意力，有魅力 有才华 就好。
我个人喜欢 内敛、含蓄的男人。有时会吃点小醋，蛮可爱的说。但也要会man.hahahahaha
尔~其他 学历不需要太高，我会自卑。 =( 但也不要太低，因为你会自卑。XD
家庭教育-要良好。不过还是要看他的“修行”了 哈。有时有其父未必有其子。总之本质要好。

讲酱多好像我很好酱。XD 
还是好好读书  修身养性吧。酱才能遇到比较好的你。O.O

最后  想说
"我最大的梦想是遇到你，和你共同拥有我们的白色小洋房，建立我们的家庭。"

Ps. 不是唯一，是最大。我还有 很多小小梦想。
      不是世界，是家庭。世界...蛮重要的。 XD

AARRRHhgggggg

Let Me tell you Something~!!!!! I just LOVE his SONGS~!!!!!!!!!!!!! sooo much~!!! hahahahah
His name is Yen Jue.严爵！！！ i just love it sooo much...haha have been listening to his songs this few days...
like the flow and the rhythm of the music...
share share la~~hahaha its soo nice and i just want to share it  >< blek.


;

haha this is one of the song that im addicted with~!! the music is just tooo cute..haha and the mv oso cute~~haha enjoy
and i shall share you more~~

finally

i think i know how much i worth in your heart already.
just want to say im a lil bit disappointed with you my friend.
its fine. i somehow found it when we were 17.
i dunno whether you will saw it onot, but just want to tell you that i will always treasure our relationship.

Sometimes

do you ever felt annoyed?? or irritated??
I DO! and somehow i hate this feelings. like i knew i shouldn't felt tat way, but i did.
There are times when i just want to shut myself in a room and forget everything.
and start everything again.from the very beginning.
i just hate being tat way. i know i should be good. i knew it.
but just sometimes someone just knock you down along the way and you have to forgive him/her when all you want to do is just to smash him/her and knock them down.Seriously.
im tired. really tired.
why this lil tiny earth in the palm of God's hand is so complicated.
or should i say, why humans are so complicated.
calm and steady please.

=)

...God knows how much I miss you. and how much I want to be with you.  =)

Do you know?

Jazz.

I really don't know why but I just love it.
Most of my friends will think im weird. lolx.
I mean in the music point of view.
ahahahhaha i love JAZZ more than nowadays songs.
the songs in my phone is mostly those 60s and 70s songs.
as wat they said, the" black and white song" hmm
i don't care~~I just loved it~!!! and listening to it just make me feels alive.
Most of my friends love those erm Hip hops music?? those noisy music perhaps I should say~Do pardon me.
For instance, I went to watch Step Up 3D with ma friends. and a part of it which Moose and Camille dance just IMPRESSED me ALOT~!!!!!!!!!!!  i mean I almost got up from the chair and wanna dance too~~ = =
forgive me. but my friend said," huh? tat part? why you like tat part?? " then i said i like the background song and the way Adam moved just make me soooooooooo sooooo sooooo impressed. I mean, he really is a good dancer. He can moves with the music. ( if you got wat i mean).
 then my friend said, oh you are an old woman. LOL~
Different ppl love different music. I knew. haha
Butm STEP UP 3 is AWeSOME~!!! i mean really worth it...and I encourage you to watch in 3D~its better~~!!! all of those dances were incredible~!! AWESOME~!!
OK~!! now present you the song im addicted with recently~oh and the "Moose and Camille" dance~~lol i spent quite long time for this. cuz just a few clips for this part. and the song too. I downloaded the whole mp3 soundtrack of Step Up 3 just for this song and guess wat. There is NONE OF IT!!! gosh they didnt put it in??? I was so upset. but FINALLY, I FOUND IT~!!!! Tada


so this is the song im addicted with~!!I won't DANCE


and this is adam and alyson in Step Up 3. love'em.~!!

真的是

日久见人心阿。
时间过了。差不多懂了。
其实，我懂的。只是，我选择不说。
不想这么快就撕破脸。
有些人很可爱，很讨喜。
有些人很好动，很好玩。
有些人很温柔，很舒服。

但，也有人，惹人烦，惹人畏。

有时候，最恐怖的，正是身边的人。
我看清你了。 但，我不点破。
我看你，究竟能装，能耐多久。。

有时候，还是简简单单的过日子比较好。
为什么要这么复杂呢？
为什么你会觉得我威胁到你呢？
哈~当你在贬低别人时，别人也在贬低你。
不要在做那些让我想取笑你的事了。

Note to God

If I wrote a note to God
I would speak whats in my soul
I would ask for all the hate to be swept away, for love to overflow

If I wrote a note to God
I would pour my heart out on each page
I would ask for war to end and for peace to mend this world

If I wrote a note to God
I would say please help us find our way
End all the bitterness, put some tenderness in our hearts.

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find Love cause Love is over due
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help from You 

Grand us the faith to carry on 

Give us hope when it seems our hope is gone

Cause it seems like so much is going wrong

On this road we're on.

We can't do it on our own.

########

my heart somehow like cramped when #######
I thought sincerity and heart is all needed. i really thought. but seems that in reality, it isn't like that.
had always told my fren to be careful of those surrounding you, just to protect ourself.
but when thing comes to me, i tend to neglect and think this kinda things wont happen to me.
but proven its NOT~!
nvm. take it as an experience. by then i will tell you its your lost for doing that.

hmm...kinda miss home during this lonely night...XD  

LOL

I cleaned and tidied my room today. and I saw my lil diary book.
and I really Laugh Out Loud while flipping it.
how stupid I was..><
but somehow it told me that, I grew up~!! coz when you find those things stupid and childish, meaning that you grow more mature...hmm...i don't know..
just wonder why on earth i wrote those things and felt that way...its ridiculous...
hmm but kinda wish some parts that I wrote were real.  =)  cheers~

Piss OFF

I, DISLIKE,

1.Ppl who are lack of confidence and keep "stepping" on others to climb.
2.Ppl who are overly confidence of themselves and look down on others.
3.Ppl who like to take advantages on others.
4.Ppl who played tricks on others and still feel proud.
5.Ppl who ACT !!!!!

am trying to be kind to you now...dun place the last straw on my back k ??

其实

内向的男人，很有魅力~XD

Regret

If you ask me whether if  im regret for not xxxxxxxxxxxx.
I will tell you Yes I regret for not xxxxxxxxxxxx.
=) but forget about it...you all wont get what i mean....
im just too..duh...nth...forget about it...just let it go...

内向的人.

1、自己走路会很快
2、喜欢黑夜，习惯晚睡
3、隐藏心事，喜欢一个人流泪
4、喜欢有口袋的衣服，否则不知道手该放哪里
5、习惯抱臂
6、习惯冷战
7、喜欢窗户，喜欢角落、习惯蜷缩
8、喜欢写字和阅读
9、莫名地孤单，无法抗拒的恐惧感
10、不爱说话或很爱说话
11、心事放在心底，有一个自己的世界
12、把笑挂在脸上，幻想自己是有安全感的孩子
13、习惯了沉默，在沉默中爆发或者选择灭亡
14、习惯了怀疑，却总是要把人往好处想
15、不相信童话，却一直期待会有个真正懂得自己保护自己的人出现
16、喜欢怀旧，之后感到深深的寂寞和恐惧
17、不喜欢一个人逛街可又总是一个人逛街
18、一点点事就胡思乱想，想到戏剧般的吓人
19、喜欢听慢歌，伤感的歌
20、会很用心地记下生命中出现的每个人
21、习惯暗恋，爱上一个人会全心全意
22、坐在电脑前，不知道做什么，却又不想关掉它
23、觉得世界上每一个人都不可靠，但却还是那样地选择相信别人
24、偶尔会有种想消失，或是想一辈子沉睡的想法
25、不喜欢等待，却总是等待
26、经常不经意的发呆
27、习惯活在过去，喜欢怀旧
28、总会把事情想得很长久
29、不习惯一个人莫名其妙地消失在自己的生命中
30、总是觉得没有人能把自己放在心里疼
31、容易满足，更容易受伤
32、喜欢伤感，甚至颓废
33、习惯保留自己，因为只有这样在离开的时候，心才不会痛
34、总有一种，被忽视的感觉
35、看似花心，看似肤浅，其实是在保护自己
36、付出的远远超过得到的
37、很固执，不懂得放弃，但一旦放弃了就绝不会回头
38、总是说着要离开，却一再为自己找不离开的理由
39、在别人面前笑得很开心，一个人的时候却很漠落
40、在陌生人面前很安静，在朋友面前胡闹
41、玩网游只是为了打发寂寞
42、喜欢下小雨时淋雨
43.、并不是所要的太多的回报，只要一点点就可以让我们死心塌地，可以很少，但一定要有
44、心情不好的时候，却喜欢听悲歌

copy pasted from FB..
 我全部都中了..... 除了第36项....因为...我学会不付出了.....

达人-刘伟.

yer~!!gosh my fren all laugh at my chinese language usage...grrr...gonna practise liao~ok
今天看了一个video.....真的很感动诶~~一个来之中国北京的年轻人. 刘伟.
先讲我自己好了...我从4岁就开始学钢琴, 也考过了第8级..但,始终不敢在众人面前弹..
 一来,我会紧张. 二来,我没有别人那么棒...我的老师也说我是个很急的人.
所以很长时候,我需要放慢脚步学习,才能达到最好的效果.
简单来说,我觉得我自己的水平还不够资格站在舞台上...
虽然我有很多很多很多,太多太多的机会,能够站在舞台上,用音乐来事奉赞美主.
但,我一次又一次,一次又一次的,让机会流失...
可是我何尝不想呢??
其实我很喜欢音乐.我喜欢弹钢琴,我喜欢唱歌,我也想学小提琴,学风琴.我还想学吉它叻!!
只要音乐一响起,我就会跟着它走,跟着它跳,跟着它开心,跟着它唱得大大声...
In short, Music is amazing..its a magic for me. It can directs and controls my emotion..

但是看到了刘伟,这位没手的年轻人,竟然能够在短短的4年,学会用脚弹钢琴.而且还弹的很不错..心里实在是太自卑了..
为什么我这样一个有手的人弹16年的钢琴,还逊过一个用脚弹钢琴只有4年的人..太欣赏他了!!
他确实感动了我. 也感动了许许多多的人..
喜欢他讲的两句话.
1)没有人规定,钢琴一定要用手弹.
2)人生中只有两条路.要么死了,要么精彩的活着!

没错!活着就是要精彩的活!
ok sharing 这个 video..希望大家看了也能学习到一点功课.




最后我想说,
真正的达人,是用生命来展示他的才华.
而身为基督徒,不也是应该,用生命来影响生命吗??
希望所有的基督徒真的都能用生命来做见证.用我们短短的生命来为主发光做盐.

an niong.

=) I still remember the moments we had.
Despite the time we had, we tends to be very "superficial". yeah we do talk our heart sometimes..but just sometimes...
Not that I don't want to go deeper, is u who tends to pull me back.
I can't remember the first time we met.
But as time goes by, I got to know you better.
and I can tell, you are the one am looking for...
Your personality impressed me. you are mature than the others.
and you are spiritually growing.
You are not handsome, but you are charming and smart looking.
You are the one who can give me the comfort I want and when I was with you, I felt secured.
You are a family lover. which I found super duper nice. and happy to be with u.
You are Friendly but not Flirty. Naughty but not Annoying. Cute but not Childish.Funny but not Freaking.
You are surrounded by ppl whom our parents known as "bad frens" but you won't even be influenced by them and yet you are the one who influenced them.
I tend to imagine a picture of happy family after we get to know each other well enough...i mean its really amazing, that I will start to imaging something like tat....and its super amazing that I would wrote it down here.
you have stayed in my heart for a few years..oh of course without asking ur permission..
but waiting for an unknown and unsecured result is just so horrifying for me.
you know very well that Im not the kind that would make the first move..and I know you wouldn't too...
oh maybe u did, but I was too stupid and too childish to know that it is.
=) maybe its time for me to open up my eyes and have a look of people around me.
and maybe now is not the suitable time for us. or maybe we are just not suitable.
well, i will continue to keep u in the lil corner of my heart..until I met my true love and if its not u, then i will clear it up...but you were always be one of my sweet  memory...=)

微笑

我做这么多 ,只是希望, 你能多了解我一点....可是, 我怀疑...你有没有在观察....还是, 你一直都不在乎...甚至, 一点都不知道...

M.I.S.S.

I miss my bible. SOoooo much~~
Regret I didn't it along with me when I came here...=(
I want to have my bible. My BIBLE.I want to read it.. T.T
Bible in the phone is just totally different with my own BIBLE..i mean the bible in book form.
and I really miss my church...miss it very much...miss the way we have our singspiration and the way we praise our Lord ...tears filled my eyes when I watched the video clips of our brothers and sisters in Christ from Korea..
miss those moments when I was in Korea. miss those moments when we woke up at 4 in the morning just to praise and pray to our God. really miss it...I really really miss it...
I want to have my intimacy with God back to me..feels really bad when I thought of it.
I'm really tired. Really really tired.

I can always be there to grab your hands

haha found this cute lil pic while searching the net..

its cute right??? hehehe...like both this babies soooo much~~~makes me smile~~
and they remind me of something.




















Lord Jesus will always be there to grab my hands too.and yours as well.
Dun worry, just trust in Him and He will guide you in every single path you step.
Do your Best and God will do the Rest.^^
Hav a nice day~~

AUGUST

just started~~~and I was like, time pass real fast..
anyway, this is my first post in AUGUST~!!! hahaha.. ==
well I moved into my new condo. hmm...kinda excited~~
but seriously, my condo was dirty...i mean real dirty...
but thanks Goodness I knew how to clean up those messy place..
haha of course with some "helper"~~~
keke..thanks to my dear friends, Steph, Jenny, Judy and Jackie~~~

and I kinda like this sentence,患难见真情..
Its so TRUE~~!! ><
 Friend in need, is a friend Indeed...
Treasure your friends ppl, coz you will never know how many times you both left...
and Treasure your life too~~

朱洁.Touch

To be honest, I actually cried when I was watching this video clips...
Her name is Zhu Jie..she is a handicap. but still, she stands on the stage to fulfill her dream...and it taught me a lot...
share with you all...and while watching, do think deeply about your own dream. do you did your best?? and be thanksgiving too... =)



螢火虫螢火虫慢慢飛
夏夜里夏夜里風輕吹
怕黑的孩子安心睡吧
讓螢火虫給你一點光

燃燒小小的身影在夜晚
為夜路的旅人照亮方向
短暫的生命努力的發光
讓黑暗的世界充滿希望

螢火虫螢火虫慢慢飛
我的心我的心還在追
城市的燈光明滅閃耀
還有誰會記得你燃燒光亮

2nd week

lol my 2nd week of class ended...duh..i wonder wat did i learned...
I'm either sleeping or day-dreaming during my class...believe me i didn't did it purposely..
and i was not the one should be blame OK??...(u.u) *crossing my fingers...

I should manage my money and time real well..
especially my money...gosh..im kinda spending like hell...duh...how how how???
but im cutting down now...coz i see the consequences...and its scarry...=(
lol..but overall my life now is awesome...*since test and exams haven comes..keke.

hmm..gonna move to the condo opposite to my Uni le...haha..will be more convenience...but gonna leave my friends whom I stayed at their house for almost a month..haha...really gives thanks to God to bring them to me...they helped my a lot...really lots....hmm..but dunno how to tell them...hope I didn't do something that made them angry...her name is florence tiong wei jie...haha..and her husband zhang fei qiang...really thank both of you so much...thanks for your generosity...^^ will remember u always...haha..

^^ Finally

my new lappy ARRIVED~~!!!

hehe...arrived in two boxes..

so here it is...haha...

after unwrapped..

^^

exclusive for CHRISTINA~~~tat's me...^^

my DELL Vostro...

and the thing I like the most is...

it is thin...its just a lil bit thicker that a Vit-C candy...hehe...so its very light..which I love a lot..

its about 1.5 cm only...keke..happy~~

ohya..lastly, show you my ID card...

Past

am thinking something recently...
what if time can flies back???
am wishing to go back to the past..
but if time really can be rewind, where were I stop it?
at the time when I decide to come here? or when I get my STPM result? or during STPM? or during my lower six? or when i decide to continue my form 6? or at the time when I get my SPM result? or during my form 4? or....
at the time when u ask me to go with you?

but back to reality....time can't flies back....my past can't return and change...but...my future is different...
It can be change...of course...if God's willing...
Ciao~~

IMU

hmm...well my uni life will be HECTIC started next week...gonna have to manage my time real well...
PHOTOS TIME~~

huhuhu..SAKAE SUSHI~!!! hmm.not very nice...but not bad la...

techno ~~ordered using computer~~

 this is not bad~~

self-service refilled water..

my so called "best-friend" in KL...hehe...McD in KL is just different with McD in sibu...totally DIFFERENT~!!

and this is Yogurt Ice-cream ~my favorite since i was young~ nice~!!

Delivery  Domino's Pizza after orientation~~

We ordered four boxes~!! plus~

BBQ chickstick~~

hmm.....theres other more.. lazy to upload le...view my FB page...

+ . +

can barely open my eyes during my orientation in IMU....
yeah right...I entered my university..IMU..

Orientation week is TIRED...><.
sigh...wanna close my eyes liao..Good night...sweet dreams...
and I really miss you...a lot...something came out this few days and the memory with you just flew into my mind...deeply...=(

Productive.

hmm...I updated my blog every single day since I arrived KL.
Why?? because I have nothing to do. My friends were working and I will have to stay at home since I don't know the bus route clearly.
So blogging is the only productive things I did. >.<
BUT, hope today will be a really PRODUCTIVE day..
I need to buy lots of things....=(
Time flies....My Uni life will gonna start soon...real soon...kinda worry...what if I don't like the environment...what if I can't get along with my course mate...what if I can't cope with my study...what if I didn't meet new friends...what if my condo is bad...what if I can't get use to the life in here...what if I run out of money.....what if I were alone....what if I can't meet you...
I knew God will provide..and He did...and I hope my faith will grow...I know I worried..too much worries...

非你不可

今天我随着记忆徘徊

在这条路尽头彷徨的我

再也不能见到的你抓着我

我又一次沿着这条路追寻

想念你 又想抱着你

看着天空祈祷的我

非你不可

我不能没有你

我就这样日复一日 年复一年

我痛苦也好

我心碎也好

我 我就只爱你一个人

我再也不能放开你

忘记你 我不能活下去

非你不可

我不能没有你

我痛苦也好

我就这样日复一日 年复一年

我心碎也好

我 我就只爱你一个人

我滴血的心

想要找你回来

大声呼喊着你

你究竟在哪里

听不到我的声音吗？

对我来说……

我即使重生

不论重生多少次

没有你，我就一天也活不下去

我 我只要你一个人就足够

我要坚守的爱情

我要呵护的爱情

我只爱你一个就足够了

R.M.C

I went to a clinic as a "learning nurse". Just looking around though. But I learned A LOT~!!!
I mean really LOTSSS~!!
Well, photos speaks.

I remember I took this photo on the 2nd day. I can tell that I'm really LOVING IT.

Guess what..I entered the OT room. Am really over the moon when I've been told I can. ^^

and this is MEEeee

The first OT I watched was the Removal of Ovary. Its really really interesting. But what I really learned was, I need to cut down my fat. That was after I saw how thick human's fat could be. And I don't want to be like that.

so this is the ovary which had been removed.

And there's another removal of ovary. This one even bigger.
There were sarcoma in the ovary and the ovary turn up to be like...

This--------->
Its huge right?? I can tell that the patient loss a few kg after she removed this.

Oh and there's another one. I don' know what it called in english but its "Shui Liu" in chinese.
This shui liu is growing in the gal tummy and its getting HUGE. Its 1kg ++

See..Its big right?? Most of the water was suck out so it turn out to be smaller than the original one.

There are two in her tummy.This is the first one.

and the small one above is the second one. Its cute though.haha..like an egg.

The second Big experience for me was...
-------> I observed the whole process of Baby Delivery...WOOTSSss

So this is the first baby I saw...I mean the first baby I watched her came to this new world...And is a She~~
A cuteee baby GIRL~!!!

Her name is Nicole.....A beautiful name indeed....Have a look at her...isn't she adorable??

 so this is the Placenta that we've been taught in school..

Oh and this is the tool that helps to sucks the baby out when the mother is weak and have no energy.

the other side of the placenta.

and this is when the umbilical chord was cut.

Well the process was BLOODY...~~~ Blood was everywhere..
.sigh...Mum have to suffer a lot just to get us born. 

and  this is her parents...Her daddy recorded the whole process of how Nicole was born...Its a good present for her when she grew up.

and this is the MUM....Being a Mother is Great...I'm impressed by the mother..I knew giving birth to a baby hurts...a lot...but they did it...no matter how hard it is...When I saw the baby came out from the womb, I nearly cried...Its very touching..I don't know why...I thought of my mum when I came out from the delivery room. I was told that I was a late born baby. My mum suffered for two days in the hospital. And she is so great. I always say thank you to her on my birthday. Really grateful that she gave birth for me. coz from the experience in the hospital, I learned that many parents nowadays are IRRESPONSIBLE..I was so mad at a couple. The man wanted to abort his own flesh. If only I can punch him for touching his girlfriend before they are married. and many underage girls came in want to abort their baby. Its Sad and Pathetic. What on earth is happening...
I was like..Why do you did that?? Why do you wanna to have sex before marriage and why do you want to kill your own baby after you've done your mistake...
GIRLS!!!! Plz wake up....please do love urself more. I really feel sad when I listened to their sad story..they either being cheated by their so-called "Boyfriend"and"Lover" or they are underage so they need to take away the baby..

Well, I really feel unsecured after so many things like this happening around me.
Man cheat easily. And woman get cheated easily.

Does Marriage still exist?? Yes it does. just not many marriage is success nowadays.
Does Love still exist?? People nowadays treat Sex as Love.
If you loved me, you will have sex with me. Thats what pop now.and many young gals fell for it. Giving their most precious gift to the one who could hurt them most..

The doctor I followed---Dr, John told me..
A man that TRUELY loved you, won't put you in a dangerous situation. Both physically and mentally.
He told me to find a man who love me so much that he won't request to have sex with me before marriage.Because having sex before marriage is incorrect and it will bring lots of problem.
And I totally agree with him.
Despite what the world taught nowadays, I will still stand firm on this.

Please...do love yourself more girls...
Treasure yourself so that you will be Treasured..
Love yourself so that you will be loved.
Wish all the best for all the true-loved couples... Be glad that you can met each other....
I was thinking, what if I never met Him.... >.<